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I’m not sure if there are other Bloggers out there that need to have a certain “ambiance” going on for them to create. Well, I do. Trying to be high-class? No, I don’t think so. (Truthfully I couldn’t figure out how to spell boo-shee, or another way for being an asshole and snob at the same time.) In order for me to “create” I need some good music, a Sprite, depending on the temperature in the house (ceiling fan on high, medium or off) and an Alabama Crimson Tide Hat. I can’t wear the same one every time I write. I don’t know why that is, it’s just my way to create. If you don’t like it or find it weird, I don’t care!

Today I feel the need to talk about a subject that is very sensitive to me. I want to talk about my relationship between myself and my wife. As I said in my previous post, that I wasn’t going to hold anything back. I met my wife in 2002 and fell for her as soon as I saw her. Looks can be deceiving. At the time I was thinking with my head in my pants instead of the one between my shoulders; by saying that I’m not saying there is anything wrong with her, I just should have slowed my role and took things a little slower. The reason why I say that is because we have learned a hell of a lot in the 11 years we have known each other. The very first year of being married, all I wanted to do was hang out with my boys and be a mack. As long as the sex was good at the crib, I didn’t have to go anywhere else. Until this day, I have not stepped out of bounds. I haven’t had a reason to. I’m laying it all out on the line and being 100% truthful with you all. I have no reason why I need to lie. I won’t lie, that I have thought about it, but being married to a Puerto Rican that is not really stable, stepping out isn’t a good idea.

Halle Berry could be naked on my bed READY for me to do my thang, but fellas, I would have to turn it down. I’m sure that once I got 75-80 years old, I would be saying what a dumbass I was, but that’s besides that point. Marriage is a covenant that a man and a woman make before God. Real quick, a covenant is a contract, agreement, undertaking,commitment, guarantee, warrant, pledge, promise, bond, indenture; pact, deal, settlement, arrangement, understanding that TWO individuals are making before the Almighty. Keep this in mind. A lot of us, because we are human, forget about that part. We say I do, do the nasty, start to run into issues and all of sudden forget about the promise we made before GOD and immediately start talking about divorce. I am guilty of it also, but the person that I made the covenant with 11 and half almost 12 years ago, we are still together. It means that much to me. I am not going to sit here and try to make me seem like I have been the perfect husband, because I am a MAN. Men are stupid individuals. Yeah, I said it. We are quickly to forget stuff.

You told her you were with Scott last week, then she mentions how much fun you and Scott had and you slip up and say, “I wasn’t with Scott last weekend.” As soon as the d in weekend leaves your mouth, your mind goes crazy. You’re caught. There is nothing that you can do to make it better. You’ve lost that trust. Trust to a woman is something that takes ages to regain. It doesn’t matter how you lost that trust, you will work for the rest of your life trying to get it back. Either way, there is nothing you can say or do to regain that trust. It takes time. You could have a 24 hour reality show taping your life, but somehow, they were able to edit some stuff out. Once you have lost that trust, it will take you until your last breathe to regain that trust. So why do we as men continue to put ourselves in these situations? Because, Men are Stupid. Yep, I said it. It’s true and there is nothing that can be said that will change my mind. I’m a stupid man. I will admit that. That’s a trait that is encoded into my DNA. Sorry, it will never be changed.

I said all that to say this. As much as it hurts to tell the truth, you will be better off telling the truth, than your spouse finding out from a slip of the tongue or video surveillance. Let’s start making it easier on ourselves fellas. We can do this. It might take 1 hour at a time, but we can do this. Any progress is good progress.

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This may sound ridiculous, but I hate commercials. Why? The reason I hate commercials is because they make whatever it is they are advertising look awesome; because I feel this way towards commercials, they have done their job.

What needs to happen is they need to show how the product is used by REGULAR people in the REGULAR world. If I, for example, see the advertised product in that capacity, then I’m sure I would stop a lot of impulse buying. A commercial gives you a false sense of security, at least that’s the way I feel. Let me explain, the advertised product seems like it’s so much better than the product you are already using. They always show the product that is advertised, in the perfect conditions. How about you go to a REGULAR house and show how your product will out-do your rival.

It never fails that when I go to the grocery store, for a specific item, I always leave the store with that item along with others. Why? Because I saw a commercial on a specific product and I say to myself that I need that product, because it’s awesome and that’s what the commercial said. Gullible? Yes, very, especially when it comes to shopping in a grocery store. What I do now is instead of going to the store with a debit card, I go to the ATM, get just enough money to buy what I need and nothing else.

It may sound ridiculous, but I never could have imagined that I, a gangsta-ass individual (just a joke), succumbs to the advertising of a product. Crazy, Right? I know. The advertising industry achieved the outcome they were looking for, because I am posting an article on my Blog regarding advertising. I am getting better, but it’s going to take some time. As I stated in a previous post, that I am an addict, you can add this to my list of addictions: Drinking Sprite, Using Smokeless Tobacco & Impulse buying because of a damn commercial.

I know that I am not the only one with flaws or issues such as the ones listed above, but I am not scared to say that I have these issues!

Jay-Z Water to a Well

 

восемьдесят пять

Last week was a really bad week for me and my family mentally and emotionally. It got to the point that I felt numb and didn’t want to do anything. Feeling depressed is not a good feeling. I am doing better today. With all that has happened to me, I will do my best to make this post amusing, but it will be the truth. Alright, lets give it a try.

Hi, my name is Jared and I have a problem. I am an addict. I am addicted to Sprite. I really don’t know when it started, but before I started this Sprite addiction, I didn’t care what type of carbonated drink I drank. It’s to the point now that if I get up in the middle of the night and go to the refrigerator and there isn’t one in there, I am willing to drive 8 miles down the road to get a 20 oz. that costs $1.69! Crazy right? It gets better. One day my wife asked me to go to IGA, a small supermarket in our large metropolis of a city. I walked in and the first thing I see is a 1.25 liter Sprite for 88 cents. Man I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was like I’m paying damn near $2.00 for 20 ounces when there is a 42.2 ounce drink out there for 88 cents? Man, I wanted to jump out of my body and slap myself!

I bought 8 of them and whatever my wife sent me to the store for. I don’t know what’s going on now, the price went up to 99 cents now, but hey it’s still a damn deal. I know you are reading this and thinking that if you’re an addict then you would do anything to have a Sprite, umm that’s a muthafuckin big ass NEGATIVE! I will not sacrifice my integrity or my morals for a damn soda or pop for the Yankees out there. I just really like to drink it. The thing that sucks is, it’s so big that if I’m at a stop light and I want to take a sip, I get strange looks, but I don’t care. I just give them a friendly smile. Another disadvantage to the 42.2 ounce drink is that it gets warm quick. I ain’t drinking a warm sprite homie. I do my best to drink it, but I’m not going to sit there and drink a sprite all day. I can’t especially with coaching. I have to stay hydrated with some good ol’ H2O.

In the case that a sprite gets warm I either put it back in the refrigerator and get a new one or pour it out. What’s weird is that if I don’t have an Un-opened Sprite, it’s hard for me to drink the one that I put back in the refrigerator because it just doesn’t have the fizz I like. Weird Right? I know. It’s all good though. I have recognized that I have a problem and right now I don’t want to stop drinking this delicious drink. The other day, I tried to drink a Coke and I couldn’t do it. I realize that Sprite is a product of The Coca-Cola Company, but I would much rather have a Sprite over a Coke. Don’t get me wrong I know that I shouldn’t be drinking soda all the time, I know I get it. I hear it from 3 wonderful ladies I live with so I don’t need to hear it here.

I am going to organize a S.A.M. (Sprite Anonymous Meeting) here in the near future. If you also have a Sprite addiction, you are welcomed to attend. Here is the S.A.M. Pledge:

I, Jared Gober (Insert Your Name Here) will do my best to take it one day at a time to get through this addiction. I am not afraid to say that I have a problem. I will do whatever I need to do to rid myself of this addiction. I am Responsible When Anyone, Anywhere Reaches Our For Help I Want The Hand of S.A.M. to Always Be There. And For That I Am Responsible!

Okay, let me address this issue, because I know some of you will not find this funny because there are people out there that have addictions that can kill them. I AM IN NO WAY POKING FUN AT THEM OR ANY OTHER ORGANIZATION OF THAT SORT. People please realize that this is just for me to get a laugh and get my mind off of the problems that I am dealing with. If you can’t understand that then you really need to stop reading my blogs or get some help yourself. This is my Blog, so I can write about what the hell I want, but sometimes people take things too far or out of context. If you think you fit in that category, then go else where and take your shoes off and walk over broken glass and roll around in hot coals.

(**No Copyright Infringement Intended** Photo Credit: The Coca-Cola Company**)

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