Hero

After spending 14 honorable years in the United States Army, thinking back on my career, I’ve asked myself would I be willing to sacrifice it all again. Without a doubt. That would mean deploying to Iraq and Afghanistan again, being away from my family on numerous occasions, putting myself in harms way, among many other issues. While apart of this elite fraternity of outstanding individuals I learned a lot about life and overall about the person that is called ME, myself a Regular.

Growing up in a small town in Alabama, with a family that wanted to shelter me from the bad trappings of the world only made me want them; I wanted to know why I was being sheltered and why they were “bad.” Don’t get wrong, I’m not saying that my upbringing was bad, I wish I didn’t have to leave home to experience them. For example, I didn’t have my first taste of alcohol until I joined the military. I had a LOT of firsts when I joined the Army. If you’ve followed my blog, I’ve given you a glimpse of ME. I started THE REGULARS Blog because I felt and still feel that regular life is better than a life in front of cameras. Now I don’t want to be a hypocrite and say that I wouldn’t want that lifestyle, but I would HAVE to have the wealth to go along with it.It amazes me how some of us, Regulars, are mesmerized by the lifestyle of a celebrity. I don’t know what it is. Is it the money? Is it the expensive lifestyle? Who knows.

My Hero’s aren’t celebrities. My Hero’s are Regular people. Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Friends, etc. I’m sure that many celebrities would gladly take the place of one of us so they are allowed to just live life. My hope is that one day we wake up and realize that a person that provides for their family is a hero, that individual you can count on to be there in your time of need is a hero, that person that sacrifices everything so many can have. I could go on and on.

If we worried about our own lives then this unbalanced world would start to balance itself out. I’m no life expert and I will never claim to be one. I still have a lot to learn, BUT, I’m content at being a REGULAR doing it.

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How does the world look to you?

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I have a question that I’ve had on my mind for some time. That question is, “how do you see the world?” Meaning do you see sex, color, ethnicity or do you see a human being as a human being?

Growing up I was always taught to see a person for who they were on the inside instead of the criteria stated above. I will admit that I have judged a person based on their outer appearance. Because I used the above mentioned criteria, it was like a slap in the face because that person was totally different than I expected. Now I do my best to look at people as what they are, and that is a human being.

Attempting to look at the world as different creeds, sexes, colors only complicates things. It’s a waste of time, in my opinion because I feel you have to approach that individual a certain way. Many men won’t admit it, but a man will treat a woman differently because she is a female. I believe it’s human nature. We as human beings need to move away from that way of thinking. Since it’s engrained in our DNA it will take some time.

This post isn’t trying to be “preachy” it’s just to get you thinking and make you look at the way you look at the world. Let’s start thinking outside the box.

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Explicit Content: Parental Advisory

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This topic that I am about to talk about is going to be a little graphic. So if you’re not over the age of eight-teen I suggest you look for another Blog to read. I have been going back and forth with myself on if I should touch this subject or not, but fuck it, I’m going to dive right in, so here goes!

The topic I am talking about is Porn. What is it about seeing a naked woman or man, depending on what you like, arouse your “other” parts? I will admit, that while deployed, I would look at that shit all the time, but being back home, I feel there’s no need. Hold up, before you we get into a back and forth argument, this is ME. Your penis’ brain is much more different than mine, so keep them damn personal comments to yourself. If we can’t talk about this like adults, you will be cut the fuck out of the conversation. Point Blank. I’m not saying this or trying to direct this subject in a certain direction, because I’m married and you think that my wife or my side piece will read this. They don’t. My wife doesn’t care about my Blog and my side piece can’t read. (Calm down, the side piece comment was a joke! I can only handle ONE woman!)

Back to the topic at hand, is seeing a woman/man with oversized tits or a huge penis and a bare cootch/dick the thing? Some men/women have lost good girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands to this epidemic. Yes, I call it an epidemic. Why? Because I muthafuckin’ want to. There are those that are so hard-nosed and will not believe that there are straight/gay/lesbian/bi individuals in this world that don’t have a world that revolves around trying to hide what they do when they are alone. There are some couples that use the excuse that, it’s an enhancement/sexual aid to sex. Really? How? Making your mate want that individual that’s on the screen and settling for you at the moment, at least that’s how I feel. I will admit that I did try to use the “let’s watch porn together so we can intense our sexual experience”, we paid $15 for the Pay-Per-View and 2 minutes in, she walked out. That’s one reason why I feel the way I do.

I have my own ways to spark up the “beatin’ them guts” department. It’s called foreplay, talking nasty or just fucking. You don’t have to make love all the time, sometimes you just need to bust a nut. If you don’t know what OTT-two-way-street1the word foreplay means, then you obviously don’t do it. I used to be a spry chicken at one time, but even as a yungin’ I didn’t have the “want or need” to look at porn. I guess that’s because I was sheltered and I didn’t have access to it or the need for it. I was a virgin until the age of 19 and I was “sexually molested and taken advantage of” by this much more experienced female while in Advanced Individual Training (AIT). Everybody says they remember their first and will never forget it, but that’s something that I want to bury and never bring up again. You can only lose/give up your virginity once.

Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t think that porn does anything to a relationship, but make it one way or in some cases ruins it. If you or your mate isn’t getting it, aren’t you or them frustrated? That’s how it is in my house. I honestly believe that if you use porn as an enhancement or sexual aid you expect it and you are only aroused by, it. If your other half/side piece can’t do that for you then you’re a lost cause. I understand that some people love porn and will go to great lengths to buy it/hide it/support it or whatever; however, don’t put me in a category as “that person who is lying or something is wrong with him” because YOU like it and have a need for it and I don’t. We are all different. If we were all the same this world would be a boring place.

Don’t take this Blog Post as me saying that porn is bad, because that is not what I’m saying. I’m just questioning the need for it. The last time I checked this was a free country we lived in and I can say and talk about what I wanted. I also understand that this is a two way street and you are going to have your opinion, soI will not be butt-hurt by what you say or how you feel. Please, again, I will say PLEASE, don’t get personal. We are all adults right?

Who Knew?

giphyToday, I’m in an awkward mood. Usually, if I’m feeling uneasy or frustrated about something, I can put on some music to calm my nerves, but today the choices of music bamamoneychosen by the random button are only fueling my frustrations to ANGER.

Please, don’t ask why. It’s only going to make me ANGRIER. I’m sure I could change the music to something soothing to the soul, but it’s too late, I’m past the point of no return. After a little typing, I’ve started to calm down. This Blog has become an outlet for me, a great way to say something, when trying to talk about it is difficult. Usually, when I start to write a new post, I make sure to have 2 additional tabs open, one with my Facebook page & one with a news outlet of my choosing that day (I don’t always use 1 news outlet to get news). Today, before I chose to look at the news page, I looked at my Facebook page. You know what REALLY pisses me off, is f****** lies. It’s taken me so much strength, mentally and physically to keep myself from falling victim to a certain subject, but today, that damn GREEN Light just came on. (If you’re a Paratrooper, you know what happens when the green light comes on. Death From Above.)

Okay, I know that everybody has a hustle or something they are extremely good at, but when your job is to lie to people and target a certain group of individuals wouldn’t you consider that discrimination or segregation? I want you to look at this statement. “Never would have thought that helping people get their lives back, giving people hope & spending more time with my friends and family would amount to this. Speechless. In a little over 3 years we’ve generated just under $500,000. I’m a stay at home mom who got tired of the 9-5 death cycle. I got tired of saying “see you later” when my husband deployed or went on trainings. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. It was a decision that has forever changed our lives.” 

010Before I go into my rant, the person who made the statement above, their spouse was only deployed ONCE, this person was in the Green Zone. I’ve never been to the Green Zone, so I don’t know how “rough” it is, but I have been 10 miles from the Syrian Border, I have been deployed to an outpost 6 miles from the Pakistan Border, I’m not trying to play the “my penis is bigger than yours game”, but I hate it when people use the word deployed and they haven’t seen real combat. Yes, you were away from your family and you could have possibly been in a couple of patrols, but people take the word Deployment out of context. This spouse was injured during a training event stateside. There are fucking Veterans that can’t get the fucking help they need because these maggots are crowding the system. (I’m Good Now.)

I know you are wondering, where in the world am I going with this. I’m tired of individuals claiming that they are changing people’s lives, when in reality all they are doing is feeding into the cycle. All they are doing is adding more individuals to keep the “living from paycheck to paycheck” cycle going. You have people with well paying jobs that quit them, so they can “change lives.” Come on now. How are you or ANY individual for that matter changing lives when all you do is show a muthaf****** video, get them to use “promise” (money that you will have in the future) money they don’t have, “encourage” them to travel to places with more promise money they don’t have, with the promise of “all of us started off this way & guarantee that it will get better”. Then you have the muthaf****** audacity to tell me that all I need to do is get 3 people to sign up. How the F*** did you change my life? You know what, you did change my life, I went from living to paycheck to paycheck to asking myself, how the f*** am I going to provide for my family?

DSC00994I will admit that I was one of those individuals, but from the jump, I questioned it, but either my question was not answered or I was fed some bullshit just to keep me from asking questions. The individuals that are supposed to be “Ambassadors” for this organization say they are making SOOOOO much money, but where’s the proof. Oh, you’re driving a car that you say,”the company” pays for, but if you ballin’ so tough, how about you go out and buy a car. You can’t. Maybe the individuals that work at the national headquarters are making thousands or millions, but you’re not. If you have the ability to “quit” your job and pursue this career full time, why do you continue to “work” so hard? Because you have to. If you’re sitting on your butt, you’re not going to make any money. This cycle happens every month. On the first of every month everybody is on the same level, it may take days or a couple of weeks for you to reach the status you obtained the previous month.

In addition to making it hard for me, you place me in a market that is already saturated with other individuals that “are trying to change lives, on drink at a time.” Come on, I would much rather you come at me real, than feed me bullshit and I have to find out the hard way. What happens if you go 3-6 months without finding 3 people, who is going to pay for that product? Yep, you got it, more f****** promise money. Damn, I can’t pay to keep my lights on, but you continue to tell me to dive in a saturated market to find that one individual that doesn’t know about this product. You’re gonna tell me with a straight face, that there is a person in a f****** saturated market, that there is someone out there that at least hasn’t heard about this product? Get the F*** outta here. I was born at night, but not last night. I might be from Alabama, but I’m far from stupid. You can take that B.S. and feed to another sucker.

Me, personally, these individuals are as bad as drug dealers. That’s a bold statement, but it’s the truth. A drug dealer’s bottom line is to do what, move product. Get more product and start the process all over again. I will say that drug dealers have morals and make more money than the individuals I am talking about. This is still a sore subject to me, because I put so much of my own money & time into this “organization” that once called me family. I’ve lost friends due to their lies. I’m to small to expose these individuals, but once they are exposed I will happily say I told you so.

Some of you are looking at this post and asking yourself what the hell is he talking about. Don’t worry, once it comes out, you will know exactly what I’m talking about. Those that know me, already know what I am talking about.

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This is Me

JaredIn today’s Blog Post, I will give you a deeper look of myself, the man, the myth, the legend known as Jared J. Gober. A lot of you know me, but don’t really know the real me.

If you have followed this Blog from Day 1, then you already know the basic information about me. For those that do not, I’ll keep it brief, because most of this information is located on my about page. If you would like a quick snapshot of me here’s the link: http://jaredjgober.com/about/. My given name is Jared J. Gober and I was born on March 8, 1980 in Tampa, Florida. Due to my father being in the military we moved around a lot. He was a Bell UH-1 Iroquois Crew Chief, unofficially called a Huey. I don’t have many memories from the early days of my childhood. Sometimes I think that it’s a good thing, because while my parents were married, my father spent a lot of time outside the home. From countless conversations with my mother and other members of my family, he used to come home drunk and beat my mother. I’ve already done a post of my feelings toward him. It is located here: http://jaredjgober.com/2013/08/23/vi/.

My parents filed for divorce while we were stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia. At this point my father was living in the Barracks, due to the amount of times the police would had to come to our trailer we lived in which just so happened to be located off of the infamous Victory Drive. If you’re not familiar with the area, google it or if you have friends that are in the military and they have been stationed at Benning, ask them about it. After the divorce was final, my lovely father would pay child support when he felt like it, so my mother did whatever she had to do to make ends meet. That is one of the many reasons why I have a lot of resentment towards him. If he really cared about the welfare of his children then he would have done the right thing. I strive every single day to be a better man than he ever was. There is no drug, female or any other atrocity that has the ability to destroy a marriage and family, that I would choose over my wife and family. Growing up, my mother was very hard on me and my oldest sister, because she didn’t want us to show any behavior that reminded her of him.

Putting myself in her shoes, I sure I would have done the same thing. Because my mother didn’t have a full time job and my father paying child support when he felt like it, we had to move to a housing project on Baker Jared 2
Plaza Drive called EJ Knight Apartments. This housing project wasn’t that bad, but in order for my mother to be able to immediately move in, she had to settle for a 2 bedroom apartment. My brother and I shared a bed and my sister had her own twin bed. In order to play with toys, we had to store them in the storage shed located right next to our apartment. The downside to living in the EJ Knight Housing Project, it was located right across the street from the infamous Baker Village. The norm to living across from Baker Village, the Columbus PD and Ambulance were there almost every night due to a fight, shooting or someone being stabbed. The school we attended was located right up the street from the EJ Knight housing project, so walking to and from school was safe, because the Police presence was heavy. My mother didn’t mind us playing outside, but we had to be inside before the street lights came on, which was right before dusk.

It seemed every year, the crime rate would rise. My mother did have a gun (I don’t know if it was legal or not, I didn’t ask questions!), so if someone knocked at the door at night and she wasn’t expecting  anyone, the first thing the person would see was the barrel of the gun. She got tired of living like this and said that she wanted to move back home to the great state of Alabama, in the greatest city known as Enterprise. When she made the decision to move she called my Uncle, Aunt and Grandmother and they all came up, rented a U-Haul and loaded all of our belongings. My mother didn’t tell my father that we were moving, because she didn’t want him to find us. The awesome thing about moving, my mother had already found and placed a deposit for a place to move in immediately. We moved in Meadow Brook Apartment and Townhouses. This place was twice the size of the apartment we lived in while in Columbus. It was a 2 Story, 3 bedroom with a Washing Machine and Dryer hook up. While in Columbus, we always had to lug our clothes to the laundry mat located right up the street from our apartment, so having the ability to do laundry at home was awesome. Compared to the place we left, our new home seemed like a mansion. My sister currently lives in the same building, but a different Townhouse. Whenever I have the chance to visit, I’m shocked to see how small it is; however, while growing up this was our “little mansion!”

Growing up in the Great City of Enterprise, a lot different from Columbus, it was slower and not as built up as Columbus was. We did get used to the slower pace and adjusted quite quickly. My Grandmother worked at the Central Issue Facility (CIF) located on Fort Rucker, which is the Home of Army Aviation. I was fascinated with helicopters and every time I was asked what I wanted to be, I would always say a Blackhawk Helicopter Pilot. One thing I can say is that the education curriculum was a lot different so we had to play catch up, because we were so behind the rest of our peers. Growing up in Enterprise, my sister and I were sheltered. It was crazy. I wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend or even talk to them on the phone. Once I got to High School, I did find a girlfriend, but I had to hide it. She was in the band and a memory I will never forget, it was after a football and as we walked to the band room, we held hands. Once I arrived to the band room, I put my tuba up and waited for my girlfriend. We then walked out of the band room together, I gave her a hug and a kiss, but guess who was in the parking lot waiting for me? My Aunt and Mother. My mother asked who she was and I said she was just a friend. Immediately, they both stated that friends don’t kiss each other.

Jared 1Whenever we got in trouble, our punishment was calling my uncle. He came over that following day, which was a Saturday, he and I walked outside, sat down on the steps in front of our Townhouse and he asked me how long her and I had been “courting” and I told him that we had been girlfriend and boyfriend for approximately 5 months. He asked me why I was hiding it so I told him that if my mother found out she would give me a whipping. Yes, I received whippings until the day I left for basic training. After our conversation, we walked inside and my Uncle called my mother into the living room, we all sat down and my Uncle and asked my mother why can I have a girlfriend? She said she was ready to be a Grandmother. In front of my mother, he asked if I was having sex and I said no, which was the truth. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 while I was in Advanced Individual Training (AIT). After talking to my mother, she reluctantly said that she would allow me to have a girlfriend, but if I was having sex and my girlfriend became pregnant, she would kick me out of the house. She then stated that she didn’t like the fact my girlfriend lived right across the street from the band practice field. This is something that I never told my mother, but I would go to her house after school during marching season, because it was easier than going all the way home, then it would take nearly calling the President for me to get a ride back to band practice, because we didn’t have a car. You might not believe me, but I can truthfully say, the closest we came to having sex, was making out, hunching and touching each others goods.

I realize today’s post is quite lengthly, but I felt in order to let you in on another piece of my life, this was the only way. My goal with my girls is to not be as strict as my mother was on me and my wife feels the same, because during her childhood and growing into a teenager, it was very turbulent. Just because we aren’t a strict as our parents were, doesn’t mean that we allow them to do what they want. We love our girls to death and are willing to go through hell and high-water to make sure they have what they need and they are taken care of. Our first priority, as far as our children goes, is their needs. They are very well behaved and it doesn’t take us being like our parents to instill traits such as integrity, moral courage and hard work. We have our challenges, but we get through this together, as a family. Maybe if my parents would have stayed together and my father had put his family as his first priority, maybe my life would have been a lot different. Who knows?

I didn’t mean to bombard you with all this information to bore you and put you to sleep, but I wanted to give you a no bullshit look into my life. I hope that I accomplished that. If not and you have some constructive Blackhawk Jaredcriticism and I open to whatever your suggestion is. Again, THIS IS ME, THE LEADER OF THE REGULARS.

 

 

#ROLLDAMNTIDE!

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Today’s subject is a sensitive one for me. I have been going back and forth with myself about this issue. The issue is, when is the right time to talk to my girls about the “birds & the bees.” I have no idea. My wife wants to wait until they are older, but I disagree. Why I disagree is because they are already having conversations about it in school.

Last year, my youngest daughter was caught looking at some inappropriate stuff on her personal computer. How it all went down was, I hadn’t said goodnight to her so I went back to her room to say it. As soon as I stepped in the room she slammed her computer shut. I was like  what was that for, she replied I did it because I was ready to go to bed. Then the investigative parent that I am, I told her to give me the computer so I could see what she was looking at. Once I saw what it  was I asked her what she was looking at and why? She told me that it was a popup and she was trying to click it off and didn’t want me to see it. I shrugged it off and cleared it from the screen and made sure that the settings on her computer was set that she couldn’t look at that stuff. Well, to my surprise, they were off. I asked her did she turn the safe setting off and she said no. In a calm voice, also telling her that I wouldn’t get mad, I asked her again, did she mess with the settings and she replied with a confident no.

I walked out and asked her mother did she adjust the safe searching setting on her computer and she said no. My wife was half asleep when she said this. I walked back and asked her to tell me the truth and she promised that she hadn’t messed with the settings. I asked her if she had been looking at some things that she was not supposed to? She replied no. I’m not a computer expert, but what she didn’t know is that I could check the history of what she’s been looking at. Let’s just say that I found a lot of things that she wasn’t supposed to be looking at. A LOT of “Grown Folks” stuff. She is now hysterical and this wakes up her mother. I take the computer to her mother and showed her what she had been looking at. My wife suggested that it was just a popup, then she opened up the history. She went back 6 months to see what she was looking at and she had been searching for certain stuff.

I almost lost my mind, but I didn’t, because I had to be the calm parent, because my wife transformed in to a creature I have never seen before. She was livid. We took her computer away from her and now that she is on the computer located in the living room, she is monitored. I don’t blame it on her, I blame myself for not checking in the first place. That’s why I asked in the beginning of this post when is the right time to talk to them about sex. With the stuff she was looking at, I really don’t need to tell her anything.

Once my wife calmed down and left the room, I went back in there and sat down and asked her why she was so curious about that stuff? She said, that her friends at school talk about it and she didn’t know what they were talking about and she wanted to know. I asked her why didn’t she just come to me or her mother? It just wasn’t innocent peeks at stuff, she was googling and on wikipedia looking for specific things of a sexual nature. This was hard for me to deal with. We still haven’t had a real talk to her about it, but we are planning to very soon. What I am struggling with is should I talk to her about it or wait? I don’t want her to continue to hear stuff from her friends and start experimenting. My wife and I haven’t really talked about it, but we agreed to do it soon.

What do you guys think? This issue has me stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need some feedback from my friends on this one. As a REGULAR Dad, I don’t want to talk to her about it then she goes out and does it, but I don’t want her to go out and do it then me find out later. At this point I am clueless. Any suggestions will be taken into consideration. Help me Please?!!

 

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