In today’s Blog Post I will let you all know about me. I know a lot of you are reading this like, uh, we already know who you are. In a way you do and no you don’t. I will hold nothing back. Some people would advise against it, my question is, Why? I don’t think it’s fair to you that follow my Blog. I will list 5 random questions and truthfully answer them. Even if it exposes a weakness or embarrasses me. There’s a lot behind the man named Jared J. Gober. Where did this come from, out of nowhere? from left-field? In music an artist will pour their soul into their music, so why can’t that be done with something that I am passionate about? I’m taking this page from a good friend. Let’s get started.
1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called? Okay, to answer this question I will give you my nickname while growing up and go from there. While growing up, my family called me JJ. Why? I shouldn’t have to answer that question for you, but I will. My name I was given at birth is Jared Jerod Gober, NO, I don’t have the same first and middle name. It’s Jared Jerod (pronounced Jer-Rod). Once I got to high school, my close friends called me Goober. Self explanatory. The friends that I keep in contact from high school still call me that. I prefer to be called Jared or Gober, because of being in the military. When I am at home and around family, they call me JJ, but I hate for my wife to call me that. Seriously I have no idea why it bothers me. I just don’t like to hear her say it, well I guess she is doing it to get on my nerves. Usually, she calls me Papi, which I think is awesome. Why? Who wouldn’t want to be called Papi; so masculine!! I call her Mami. If she calls me by my first name, I know that I did something wrong, but back to the question at hand. I prefer to be called Jared, that’s good enough.
2. What scares me the most? Why? First off, the thing that I am most scared of is losing my family. The reason why is because growing up, I didn’t have two parents in the household. It was just my mother. I had family (Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents) that had a big part of making me the man I am today, but I always said that when I was blessed to start a family, that I would do it right. I’m not saying or trying to say that a single parent home is wrong, all I am saying is that I made a promise to myself while growing up that when the good Lord blessed me with a wife that I would do whatever it took to make my family stay together. Yes, we have had some times where I thought all was lost, but I did what I had to do to make it work. Another thing that I’m scared of is scary movies. Yep, I said it. I don’t like them. The reason is because, when I was 3 or 4, every time the Michael Jackson “Thriller” video came on, my father would turn the volume all the way up and force me to watch it. I can watch it now, but I would prefer not to watch scary movies. One more thing that I am scared of is Debt. I hate owing people money. I know that’s apart of being an adult, but until you have a title to a car, a deed to a house, solar panels on your house so you’re off the grid, you will always owe people money. That’s a fear that I have to work through every single day.
3. Am I more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?I hate conflict, but I won’t back down from it. Especially when it involves my wife or my girls. I don’t go out looking for conflict, but a lot of people take advantage of that because of my character and the way I carry myself. I’m a pretty quiet person. When it’s time to be loud I can be loud. All conflict does for me is stress me out. It doesn’t matter how small or large it may be, if there isn’t a resolution at the end of all the yelling, fighting, etc. it stays on my mind. Which is unhealthy for a mind that is already filled with important things that is already stressing me out.
4. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits? Truthfully, the last time I really pushed myself to my physical limits was 24 April 2010. Why? Because on 25 April 2010, an event that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, well maybe Auburn Fans, just kidding, changed my life. Some of you already know what that event is. The Vehicle I was riding in was struck by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED). Right now, it’s very hard to push myself to my physical limits, due to injuries that I am still recovering from. A lot of people don’t realize, I’m walking and somewhat healthy that injuries shouldn’t be an excuse. I used to think the same way, until it happened to me. Not only are you dealing with physical injuries, you have mental ones as well, but back to the question, it’s been a minute since I have done that. I do what I can until stuff starts to hurt, which I’m told I shouldn’t do that because I am not helping my body do it’s job. I have 2 girls that want to play sports and they want Dad to teach them. I didn’t have that growing up so I will push myself as hard as I can or until it breaks; I have to push myself for my family. I live every single day for them.
5. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? I will do my best to honsetly answer this question. A broken relationship that I wish I could restore, truthfully, would be my relationship with my father. My parents divorced when I was 8. The next time I saw my Father was when I was 12; the next time I saw him, I was 16; I didn’t see him again until I had joined the Army and was stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. He is from North Carolina, so of course, I wanted to see my family in North Carolina. I saw him a couple of times, because at this point he was driving trucks cross country. The last memory I have of seeing him while stationed at Fort Bragg, was the weekend before I was getting ready to deploy. It had to be around October 7th or 8th, 2001, because we deployed on the 10th. He came out of nowhere. It was crazy, I’m getting ready for bed and I get a knock at my door. I was like who the hell is that. At this time I had my girl that was my friend laying in the same bed with me, innocent, I swear. She went to the door, looked through the peephole and said it’s a man and a lady. I said, who is it? She replied I don’t know. I looked through the peephole and said, this exact statement, “No Fucking Way.” The girl that was my friend said what’s wrong, I said, I think that’s my Father. I opened the door and it was him. We went out to dinner, talked and caught up on things. I explained to him that I was deploying, but he didn’t believe me. He believed me when he went to my room the next weekend and no one came to the door. I’ve tried to repair this relationship, but I’m the only one that is working at it. For me to repair it, I wanted him to tell me why he used to hit my mother, why he left and why he would always promise me he would come and visit, but would never show? He would always want to change the subject. Every time he asks me if there is anything I want to ask him, I ask those same questions, but never get an answer. Yeah, I could let it go and move forward, but why give him that pleasure? He put me through hell, which to this day I still hurt from, so why give him that joy? Truthfully, I don’t think he deserves it.
I know 5 questions doesn’t give you an outlook on the whole me, but it’s a start. I will continue this sometime in the future. I’ll write down 5 questions and truthfully answer them. I’ll continue to do it until you all know all about what makes Jared J. Gober. I hope that this is able to help someone out there. Maybe, ask themselves those same questions and truthfully answer them. If you have questions you would like to ask me, put them in the comment section and the next time I post about myself I will answer them.
Why is it so hard for Veterans to get the help they need? Being a veteran myself, you have always been told that there are support systems out there for you to reach for, but when you call you get transferred from this extension to that extension. Every time I have to call the VA regarding any issue I regret it. Why, you ask? No one knows the number you need or you have to talk to this person and tell them what’s wrong before you get a call back; you then have to sit by the phone for 30 minutes to 1 hour for a call back. So frustrating, and our government asks why aren’t more Veterans using these systems. The reason behind it is because the system is not working. I won’t say that every part of the system is messed up, but some of these people that work in the facility, in my experience, are either Veterans themselves or have worked for the Government in some type of capacity.
I know you are wondering, why the hell is he complaining? Quick back-story for those of you that don’t know; on April 25, 2010, myself and 7 other individuals were in a vehicle that was struck by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED). Out of the 8 of us in the vehicle 5 of us were Medically evacuated (MEDEVAC’D) to the nearest trauma center, of the five that were flown to the nearest trauma center only 3 of us were sent out of country, 2 went to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center and 1 (me) was sent to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center. My injuries included: A Calcaneal Fracture on my right foot (heel fracture), torn ligaments in right ankle, 2 Herniated Discs in my lower back and a mild concussion. I won’t mention the injuries to the other individuals, because that is the type of information you share in this forum without their consent. Before I left the country, a splint was put on my right foot that covered my leg to the bottom of my right knee.
Now that you know my back-story, let me continue. I was medically retired from the military on October 27, 2012. Now that I am retired, my entire medical needs go through the VA or a provider that is under a VA contract. I know that here in the United States there is a problem with individuals getting hooked on prescription pain medications, mainly narcotic medication. I understand that, but what am I to do? I’ve taken a low dose Class II medication, but it doesn’t help. I also understand that a narcotic medication is only used to take the edge off and you have to slowly be given the medication and then when it times for you to come off of it. I got it. Now answer my question, what am I supposed to do? Conducting daily activities is getting harder and harder to do as these days, months and years pass by. I have no clue if I’m not explaining myself in the correct way or what, but I ask the same question, what am I supposed to do?
I know my complaints will go unanswered, but this system needs to be fixed. With the economy in the shape that it’s in I’m sure the system won’t be fixed anytime soon. Just know that I am not the only one that is going through this. There are thousands of us. I think that was the reason it has never been taken seriously, because I guess the administration thought we would go over to the foreign country we were fighting and come back unscathed? I know that they’re doing their best to get a system put in place for us, but why didn’t we didn’t learn from our previous conflicts. What about the Veterans that fought in the Puerto Rican Revolts, The Korean War, WWI, WWII, The First Indochina War, The Cold War, The Vietnam War, Second Indochina War, Laotian Civil War, Lebanon Crisis, Congo Crisis, Bay of Pigs Invasion, Colombian Conflict, Invasion of the Dominican Republic, The Korean DMZ Conflict, Cambodian Civil War, Soviet War in Afghanistan, First Gulf of Sidra Incident, Lebanese Civil War, Invasion of Grenada, Action of the Gulf of Sidra, The Bombing of Libya, Operation Earnest Will, Invasion of Panama, The Gulf War, Iraqi no-fly Zones Conflict, Operation Restore Hope, Somali Civil War, Operation Uphold Democracy, Operation Infinite Reach, The Kosovo War, Operation Enduring Freedom, Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Yes, I know that a lot of those conflicts the U.S. may have had very little to no impact. What the average American doesn’t know that there are other operations going on without them knowing. I’m not saying I know about them, I’m just trying to prove a point. That point is we have had all these conflicts and those Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen have come back with the same symptoms that the same branches mentioned are dealing with today. I know as technology gets better and a lot more studies are done, but something or someone needs to be the voice for us, because they are not screaming loud enough. Not only do these individuals deal with physical wounds, we also deal with mental issues. When you say to an average American, mental problems automatically you or the person you’re talking about is crazy and needs to be put in a straight jacket.
At this point, I’m not sure whom to blame. Maybe we as Veterans aren’t screaming loud enough or not taking advantage of the programs that are put in place for us; maybe the administration doesn’t give a shit about us. I don’t know. It sucks to feel pain physically and mentally, but the only people that can relate are the people you went through it with. I understand that studies are done and they try to do their best to cover every aspect, but right now, it’s not working. They’re not enough facilities to facilitate all of the Veterans so a lot of us get overlooked or forgotten about.
I know I got a little excessive with all the conflicts, but I just want you guys to know that there are other Veterans than the ones of today. The Vietnam Veterans are so overlooked it makes me sick. Just their “welcome” back to the U.S. makes me want to throw up. Americans spitting on them, calling them baby killers and giving them a hard time. Americans need to realize that when we are deployed to these foreign countries, we don’t just go out on missions without orders from someone sitting in a position of power/influence and start killing innocent people. Yes, innocent people are killed, but when you don’t know who your enemy is, atrocities like that will happen.
I talked about a lot of stuff, but if you don’t remember anything from this post, I want you to remember this: there are a lot of Veterans out there and we are crying out for help, but most of our cries go unheard or blatantly overlooked because the average American doesn’t want to deal with it. Veterans Day has come and gone. Guess what, America is not talking about it anymore. Don’t just take ONE day out of the year to thank a Veteran, if see one or know one personally, do it EVERY SINGLE DAY.