If you have followed this Blog from Day 1, then you already know the basic information about me. For those that do not, I’ll keep it brief, because most of this information is located on my about page. If you would like a quick snapshot of me here’s the link: http://jaredjgober.com/about/. My given name is Jared J. Gober and I was born on March 8, 1980 in Tampa, Florida. Due to my father being in the military we moved around a lot. He was a Bell UH-1 Iroquois Crew Chief, unofficially called a Huey. I don’t have many memories from the early days of my childhood. Sometimes I think that it’s a good thing, because while my parents were married, my father spent a lot of time outside the home. From countless conversations with my mother and other members of my family, he used to come home drunk and beat my mother. I’ve already done a post of my feelings toward him. It is located here: http://jaredjgober.com/2013/08/23/vi/.
My parents filed for divorce while we were stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia. At this point my father was living in the Barracks, due to the amount of times the police would had to come to our trailer we lived in which just so happened to be located off of the infamous Victory Drive. If you’re not familiar with the area, google it or if you have friends that are in the military and they have been stationed at Benning, ask them about it. After the divorce was final, my lovely father would pay child support when he felt like it, so my mother did whatever she had to do to make ends meet. That is one of the many reasons why I have a lot of resentment towards him. If he really cared about the welfare of his children then he would have done the right thing. I strive every single day to be a better man than he ever was. There is no drug, female or any other atrocity that has the ability to destroy a marriage and family, that I would choose over my wife and family. Growing up, my mother was very hard on me and my oldest sister, because she didn’t want us to show any behavior that reminded her of him.
Putting myself in her shoes, I sure I would have done the same thing. Because my mother didn’t have a full time job and my father paying child support when he felt like it, we had to move to a housing project on Baker
Plaza Drive called EJ Knight Apartments. This housing project wasn’t that bad, but in order for my mother to be able to immediately move in, she had to settle for a 2 bedroom apartment. My brother and I shared a bed and my sister had her own twin bed. In order to play with toys, we had to store them in the storage shed located right next to our apartment. The downside to living in the EJ Knight Housing Project, it was located right across the street from the infamous Baker Village. The norm to living across from Baker Village, the Columbus PD and Ambulance were there almost every night due to a fight, shooting or someone being stabbed. The school we attended was located right up the street from the EJ Knight housing project, so walking to and from school was safe, because the Police presence was heavy. My mother didn’t mind us playing outside, but we had to be inside before the street lights came on, which was right before dusk.
It seemed every year, the crime rate would rise. My mother did have a gun (I don’t know if it was legal or not, I didn’t ask questions!), so if someone knocked at the door at night and she wasn’t expecting anyone, the first thing the person would see was the barrel of the gun. She got tired of living like this and said that she wanted to move back home to the great state of Alabama, in the greatest city known as Enterprise. When she made the decision to move she called my Uncle, Aunt and Grandmother and they all came up, rented a U-Haul and loaded all of our belongings. My mother didn’t tell my father that we were moving, because she didn’t want him to find us. The awesome thing about moving, my mother had already found and placed a deposit for a place to move in immediately. We moved in Meadow Brook Apartment and Townhouses. This place was twice the size of the apartment we lived in while in Columbus. It was a 2 Story, 3 bedroom with a Washing Machine and Dryer hook up. While in Columbus, we always had to lug our clothes to the laundry mat located right up the street from our apartment, so having the ability to do laundry at home was awesome. Compared to the place we left, our new home seemed like a mansion. My sister currently lives in the same building, but a different Townhouse. Whenever I have the chance to visit, I’m shocked to see how small it is; however, while growing up this was our “little mansion!”
Growing up in the Great City of Enterprise, a lot different from Columbus, it was slower and not as built up as Columbus was. We did get used to the slower pace and adjusted quite quickly. My Grandmother worked at the Central Issue Facility (CIF) located on Fort Rucker, which is the Home of Army Aviation. I was fascinated with helicopters and every time I was asked what I wanted to be, I would always say a Blackhawk Helicopter Pilot. One thing I can say is that the education curriculum was a lot different so we had to play catch up, because we were so behind the rest of our peers. Growing up in Enterprise, my sister and I were sheltered. It was crazy. I wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend or even talk to them on the phone. Once I got to High School, I did find a girlfriend, but I had to hide it. She was in the band and a memory I will never forget, it was after a football and as we walked to the band room, we held hands. Once I arrived to the band room, I put my tuba up and waited for my girlfriend. We then walked out of the band room together, I gave her a hug and a kiss, but guess who was in the parking lot waiting for me? My Aunt and Mother. My mother asked who she was and I said she was just a friend. Immediately, they both stated that friends don’t kiss each other.
Whenever we got in trouble, our punishment was calling my uncle. He came over that following day, which was a Saturday, he and I walked outside, sat down on the steps in front of our Townhouse and he asked me how long her and I had been “courting” and I told him that we had been girlfriend and boyfriend for approximately 5 months. He asked me why I was hiding it so I told him that if my mother found out she would give me a whipping. Yes, I received whippings until the day I left for basic training. After our conversation, we walked inside and my Uncle called my mother into the living room, we all sat down and my Uncle and asked my mother why can I have a girlfriend? She said she was ready to be a Grandmother. In front of my mother, he asked if I was having sex and I said no, which was the truth. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 while I was in Advanced Individual Training (AIT). After talking to my mother, she reluctantly said that she would allow me to have a girlfriend, but if I was having sex and my girlfriend became pregnant, she would kick me out of the house. She then stated that she didn’t like the fact my girlfriend lived right across the street from the band practice field. This is something that I never told my mother, but I would go to her house after school during marching season, because it was easier than going all the way home, then it would take nearly calling the President for me to get a ride back to band practice, because we didn’t have a car. You might not believe me, but I can truthfully say, the closest we came to having sex, was making out, hunching and touching each others goods.
I realize today’s post is quite lengthly, but I felt in order to let you in on another piece of my life, this was the only way. My goal with my girls is to not be as strict as my mother was on me and my wife feels the same, because during her childhood and growing into a teenager, it was very turbulent. Just because we aren’t a strict as our parents were, doesn’t mean that we allow them to do what they want. We love our girls to death and are willing to go through hell and high-water to make sure they have what they need and they are taken care of. Our first priority, as far as our children goes, is their needs. They are very well behaved and it doesn’t take us being like our parents to instill traits such as integrity, moral courage and hard work. We have our challenges, but we get through this together, as a family. Maybe if my parents would have stayed together and my father had put his family as his first priority, maybe my life would have been a lot different. Who knows?
I didn’t mean to bombard you with all this information to bore you and put you to sleep, but I wanted to give you a no bullshit look into my life. I hope that I accomplished that. If not and you have some constructive criticism and I open to whatever your suggestion is. Again, THIS IS ME, THE LEADER OF THE REGULARS.