Today, I have a real treat for you guys. Today’s Blog post will not be about me. A friend of mine had to write a Blog Post for an assignment. I read and thought it was hilarious and I wanted to share it with you. A little background on my Brother. He was the Platoon Sergeant of the Platoon I was out with when our truck was hit by and Improvised Explosive Device (IED). He broke both of his arms and they had to put a grip of screws and plates in his ankle, though he was injured, he wasn’t worried about himself, his only worry was about everybody else. Now that’s a real muthaf******* leader. The Driver broke some vertebre in his back, broke his heel (I’m not sure of all his injuries), I broke my heel, ankle and torn all type of ligaments in my foot that I didn’t even know existed. In addition to my, the Driver and Mikey, 2 other passengers were injured. I hope he doesn’t mind that I mentioning his name. I love this guy as if he was my blood brother. Matter of fact, everyone that was in the vehicle are my brothers and sister for life. Okay, let’s get into his post. I introduce the world to Mr. Mikey Sampsell.
For my Blog this week, I visited http://usconstitution.net/ and as per instruction, I would like to offer some feedback as to what I learned as I navigated that site. First of all, the very first thing I noticed was the meticulous organization of its webpage. Everything seemed easy to locate and appeared to cover everything you would ever want to know about the structure of the US Government. The first tab on which I clicked was labeled “Failed Amendments.” I have always been a somewhat negative person so this selection came as no surprise to me. I was one sentence in to the Corwin Amendment of 1861 when it happened; I was suddenly and overwhelmingly attacked by pop-up advertisements.
The first one did not seem out of the ordinary. Apparently, I was randomly selected to take part in a survey for the website. Of note, at the completion of the survey I would receive a valuable gift. You can imagine my excitement at the prospect of a valuable gift considering my birthday isn’t until December (the 19th to be exact in case anyone wants to write that down). It was, as the survey stated, completely my decision whether or not to participate. However, there was no way to navigate away from it. So, with that in mind, and the valuable gift, of course, I decided to answer a few questions. This first (and only as it turned out) question simply asked me where it was I was viewing the website. I made quick work of this question by answering “home” without a moment’s hesitation. I was anxiously awaiting the next query when I was, having been randomly selected to take three more surveys, redirected. These surveys informed me that while I would not only be providing a valuable service to the public, I could also be compensated monetarily for my participation. I could make anywhere from $5 to $75 per completed survey! The world can say what it wants but America remains the land of opportunity.
I spent the better part of the next two minutes trying to decide whether I should participate. At the same time, I also had to decide if I really needed to install this “Open Download Manager” so I could download videos faster. It was highly recommended that I do so. As if my plate weren’t already full, my world was suddenly turned upside down by what came next.
What follows next I am only pointing out due to its relevancy. I was wounded twice in combat; the first time was in Iraq on July 7, 2004 and the second time in Afghanistan on April 25, 2010. In the latter case, I would undergo four surgeries to repair both my arms and reattach my foot. As you might imagine, this required screws, bolts, (probably some duct tape), and titanium plates. Since undergoing these surgeries, I often get rashes at the wound sites. They are red, itchy, and generally just unpleasant. The only thing I can do for this is apply generous amounts of anti-itch cream and ignore it. However, according to what I was now seeing, this was just the tip of the iceberg. My rashes had nothing to do with the hardware in my appendages and everything to do with a terrifying new disease called “The American Parasite.” You can’t make this up. This ailment is characterized by itchy rashes, belly fat, inability to sleep, and occasional bouts of depression. It is these exact characteristics that I use to describe myself on social media sites. It is clear to me that I have this disease and that I am going to die. There is no cure as legislation to address and develop a means to combat it are hopelessly stuck in the legislatures of both New York and, you guessed it…Mexico. All I can do is hope and cease to eat all the foods I crave because according to this new information made available to me, it’s not me craving it, it’s the American Parasite.
Garcinia Cambogia offered a slight glimmer of hope as it informed me that I had again been randomly selected to participate in their special offer. For those of you not in the know, Garcinia Cambogia is the latest craze in fat-burning. According to the information I have been provided, GC burns fat quicker and more efficiently than any other product of its kind. I am not sure whether I believe this claim as Garcinia Cambogia’s literal translation is “Fat Sucker” which you can see works on two levels. But at only $59.99 for a month’s supply, I think it might be worth the risk. Sure, I am obviously going to be killed by the American Parasite; but at least I can die without all this belly fat.
In closing, http://usconstitution.net/ looks like it was created as a very useful site for students, teachers, and citizens in general. However, the endless pop-up advertisements prevent the user from actually navigating the site. I would not recommend this site to anyone until such a time the administrators decide to repair it so that it operates as it was originally intended. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to click and see if I in fact do qualify for financial aid at Long Island Beauty School.