Being Too Nice Gone Extremely Wrong

I think that I am too nice of a person. I say that because it always seems that when I’m nice to a person without really knowing them, I always get screwed in the end. It’s time to switch it up. I need to be more hard-nosed and I learned that valuable lesson this week. IMG_7088

I’m feeling this type of way today, because I went into a local T-Shirt shop, asked some questions, got answers that I wanted and decided to do business. Keep this in mind, I’ve used this place before to construct a T-Shirt idea I had for myself. They pulled it together quite flawlessly, that’s another reason why I decided to try and save a little bit of money instead of find a business online. Let’s say that this didn’t go AT ALL as I wanted it to. I’m still trying to process it right now.

So, if you don’t know it already, I’m a HUGE fan and supporter of Screwface World Music. So much so, I created a whole Blog dedicated to this well established indie label. Here’s the site, check it out: http://www.screwfaceworldmusicgroup.com, and I am doing my best to add to the brand, not take away. How hard is it to take a picture that is already put together, nothing needed to be added or taken away from, just put Artwork on the front of a T-Shirt? I guess in this part of the country, it’s EXTREMELY hard. After sending the Logo that I wanted to be printed on the shirt and them confirming what I wanted, me being nice and a very naive person I paid for the total order.

What happened was they totally changed the Logo to what they “thought” was appropriate. As soon as the shop opened I called and voiced these concerns. After asking questions as to why this wasn’t done this is what I was told, “he will give me half of my money back, plus he wants to make more shirts at a reduced price. I said no, It’s not about the quality or material of the shirt, he blatantly destroyed the logo. As a business owner, your motto should be “great customer service” and keep a returning customer, key word: RETURNING. I asked what in the wold happened to the confirmation of the picture?

He said that his business/co-worker partner didn’t understand what to do. I said all he had to do was take the Logo I sent and put it on a damn shirt. I then told him I will be there sometime today, to reluctantly pick up this travesty that makes me look incompetent to my peers and superiors. (I had to throw that in to make him feel like more shit.) In addition to that, WE WILL NO LONGER USE his business and if asked in the community if I’m pleased with their work, the first thing I will present to a potential customer is a picture of what happened to me. I then hung up the phone like a G.

Instead of posting a picture of the travesty, I will keep it casual with a picture of my beloved Alabama Crimson Tide. #ROLLDAMNTIDE!

 

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The Glover Garden

So I’m outside today, picking up some trash in the yard. Last year we planted some broccoli, lettuce, cabbage and tomatoes in a random part of our yard. Everything grew except the cabbage. We tried to grow a huge tomato,IMG_8108 but with the weather last year, we received a lot of rain, so it cracked in a few place and some punkass worms made it their home. I was so proud until I cut it open. Disappointment was all over my face. My wife says to me, it’s always next year. I’m a MAN and when I do things they have to be over the top and AWESOME, but I failed. So I said the hell with it, I ain’t planting NO MORE. I thought I had a green thumb, yeah right, a black one, literally. (I thought that was funny, you don’t have to laugh.)

I walked by this area of the yard and start to clean up my disaster and as I’m picking up the pieces of the border we put down, pull weeds out and some old broccoli stalks, it hits me. I know exactly what to do. It hurt like hell to get the ground cleared, turn the dirt, make sure all the weeds were out, but it was worth it. My grandmother passed away on January 23, 2014. I attempted to go to her funeral, but I couldn’t make it. The weather during that week, was horrible and of course, being in the South, we are unprepared for icy conditions and snow. Every route I planned on taking was congested due to traffic, iced over roads and such. I could have taken a lot of backroads, but didn’t want to attempt it, because believe it or not there are individuals that live in this region of the country and think because of my skin color we are not equal, but that’s a different story.

Don’t get me wrong, my Grandmother is worth it, but I’m sure she would’ve been more upset with me if I did it. Either way, I cleared away the old, turned the dirt and planted an assortment of different flowers in her memory. I looked at it and quietly said a prayer and said, “Grandma, I love you and I would like to see you everyday in this physical way now that you are gone from this earth.” You may think I’m weird, but I loved my Grandmother and really think that I took her for granted, because I always expected her to be there. Isn’t that what happens with all our loved ones that are not close enough for us to see on a daily or weekly basis? I know in my heart that she is going to show me that she is right here with me in good ol’ Southeast Georgia.

The picture that I am adding to this you will think is corny, but I could give a crap how you feel. In my shadow, I’m reaching up towards the sky as if I am reaching for her hand. Yes, I could have done it in a “prettier fashion”, but like I mentioned in the beginning, I am a MAN and the things I do have to be AWESOME and I feel it was. R.I.P. Edna Mae Glover, you are truly missed. I would also like to dedicate the Glover Garden to Carol Gober, Sharon Gober & Tammy Gober. They all are truly missed.

Explicit Content: Parental Advisory

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This topic that I am about to talk about is going to be a little graphic. So if you’re not over the age of eight-teen I suggest you look for another Blog to read. I have been going back and forth with myself on if I should touch this subject or not, but fuck it, I’m going to dive right in, so here goes!

The topic I am talking about is Porn. What is it about seeing a naked woman or man, depending on what you like, arouse your “other” parts? I will admit, that while deployed, I would look at that shit all the time, but being back home, I feel there’s no need. Hold up, before you we get into a back and forth argument, this is ME. Your penis’ brain is much more different than mine, so keep them damn personal comments to yourself. If we can’t talk about this like adults, you will be cut the fuck out of the conversation. Point Blank. I’m not saying this or trying to direct this subject in a certain direction, because I’m married and you think that my wife or my side piece will read this. They don’t. My wife doesn’t care about my Blog and my side piece can’t read. (Calm down, the side piece comment was a joke! I can only handle ONE woman!)

Back to the topic at hand, is seeing a woman/man with oversized tits or a huge penis and a bare cootch/dick the thing? Some men/women have lost good girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands to this epidemic. Yes, I call it an epidemic. Why? Because I muthafuckin’ want to. There are those that are so hard-nosed and will not believe that there are straight/gay/lesbian/bi individuals in this world that don’t have a world that revolves around trying to hide what they do when they are alone. There are some couples that use the excuse that, it’s an enhancement/sexual aid to sex. Really? How? Making your mate want that individual that’s on the screen and settling for you at the moment, at least that’s how I feel. I will admit that I did try to use the “let’s watch porn together so we can intense our sexual experience”, we paid $15 for the Pay-Per-View and 2 minutes in, she walked out. That’s one reason why I feel the way I do.

I have my own ways to spark up the “beatin’ them guts” department. It’s called foreplay, talking nasty or just fucking. You don’t have to make love all the time, sometimes you just need to bust a nut. If you don’t know what OTT-two-way-street1the word foreplay means, then you obviously don’t do it. I used to be a spry chicken at one time, but even as a yungin’ I didn’t have the “want or need” to look at porn. I guess that’s because I was sheltered and I didn’t have access to it or the need for it. I was a virgin until the age of 19 and I was “sexually molested and taken advantage of” by this much more experienced female while in Advanced Individual Training (AIT). Everybody says they remember their first and will never forget it, but that’s something that I want to bury and never bring up again. You can only lose/give up your virginity once.

Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t think that porn does anything to a relationship, but make it one way or in some cases ruins it. If you or your mate isn’t getting it, aren’t you or them frustrated? That’s how it is in my house. I honestly believe that if you use porn as an enhancement or sexual aid you expect it and you are only aroused by, it. If your other half/side piece can’t do that for you then you’re a lost cause. I understand that some people love porn and will go to great lengths to buy it/hide it/support it or whatever; however, don’t put me in a category as “that person who is lying or something is wrong with him” because YOU like it and have a need for it and I don’t. We are all different. If we were all the same this world would be a boring place.

Don’t take this Blog Post as me saying that porn is bad, because that is not what I’m saying. I’m just questioning the need for it. The last time I checked this was a free country we lived in and I can say and talk about what I wanted. I also understand that this is a two way street and you are going to have your opinion, soI will not be butt-hurt by what you say or how you feel. Please, again, I will say PLEASE, don’t get personal. We are all adults right?

Grown Up Problems

tumblr_m6ijwpRz2G1qfzl7yBefore those of you that have followed this blog from the beginning crucify me, I feel the need to talk about this again, but from a different angle.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’m about to 34 years old and I still don’t have that figured out. Why is this? I don’t know. Great answer right? I feel like I haven’t fully become an adult because I haven’t figured this part of my life out. I did serve 14 years in the world’s greatest military, the Army to be specific. The job I did really didn’t relate to anything in the civilian sector, unless you were fortunate enough or in the right place at the right time to get the right schooling. I wasn’t that fortunate. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job and the different “other” titles I was able to experience, but with all this experience, I have no clue what I want to do.

A very good friend of mine, well more than just one, said that I should consider taking writing a little more serious. I have thought about it, but I’m not ready to compete with other writers. My problem is keeping an audience wanting more of what I write. Its crazy that one article will have the masses wanting more, but you write about another topic and 3 people read and understand what you actually wrote.I know it’s not about getting views or pleasing people with words, but at the end of the day, it’s your message. I know that I can’t please everybody, but that’s not the part that upsets me, it’s keeping individuals wanting more of MY message.

Some of the individuals that I follow on WordPress, fascinate me with their ability to capture an audience and keep that audience. In addition to that, people are talking about it. I have no clue if I have that affect on people, but that’s what I want. I know that I need to go back to someone’s English class, but I don’t want to go to school either. This is what I want, if I could have it my way, I want to go to sleep one night and wake up the next day with the remarkable ability to write. Everybody has dreams right?

I don’t have a problem with coming up with topics to talk about, it’s writing just enough information to keep an individual interested, but not so little as to where they are like all the words I put together had no meaning. I don’t want to overload individuals with information either. I learned that hard lesson in the beginnings of this Blog. The post I am referring to, I talked about a subject that I’m passionate about and that’s being Airborne. There are two subjects that I can talk about all day and they are Airborne and Alabama Crimson Tide Football, but who other people like me really want to hear about those topics? Not many.

In the previous post about this topic, I did say that I hope that I would have it figured out soon, but that time has not yet come. In a perfect world, I would be able to walk around aimlessly, spend money and shoot guns. I’m not in that world so I have to figure something out and do it soon.

 

 

 

 

(Today fitness goal: 6 miles, Actual miles walked: 7.01 miles)                                                                                                                                                                                  (This Week’s Fitness Goal: Walk 15 miles; Actual Miles Walked: 25.28)

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A look into the world of the “Wright” & Wrong

Today’s Blog was written by a good friend that I consider family. Her name is Rhodonna Wright. You can feel her joy and pain through her words. This is a very personal subject to her and it took her a lot of courage to welcome the world into hers. Thank you for giving us your story.

WorldHey everybody, I am not really a private person, but what Im about to share is really personal, I’m not doing this for attention, but im gonna let you in my world, so that maybe, just maybe, one person will listen, and either leave, or get help…..My mother RIP, stayed with my father for many years, while living a lie in public, my father was an alcoholic in active addiction for years until I was about 18…..my whole young life I witnessed arguing, fighting, yelling, screaming, and crying, thankfully alcohol didnt affect my father in the way that it does most people, most people become violent, but my dad wanted to argue all the time…when he was sober, he was the nicest sweetest, kindest man you would ever meet, but when he drank, it was awful…many times I witnessed my father drunk on the ground outside, and there was my mom, telling him to get up, because he had to be to work in three hours…drunk in the stairwell in Germany passed out, because he had gotten so drunk, he couldnt walk, my mom would leave him there, but eventually would go outside, get him inside and he would pass out , and then he would wake up, go to work somehow, and come home and do it again…I am not saying this to bash my father, im telling you the painful honest truth…my father stopped drinking when I was 17, went to rehab, because my mom, had started going to Al Anon , and learned how to detatch, and told him that after 18 years of marriage, she was gonna leave, that was enough for him, except for a brief one day relapse in 1980, he hasnt drank since, Praise God, and my mother and father stayed married until the day she died in December of 1990……. I followed this upbringing by repeating the pattern, no I didnt become an alcoholic, but I got involved with men, that all had issues of some kind….sex addiction, alcoholism, and drug addiction….some people call me stupid, thats okay, because im far from it, but this issue and disease, is called codependency……

It is a disease because as my friend Dennis Reed, says, your body and mind are in a state of disease….not only that, but after being raised in toxcicity for 18 years, unless you get help for your problem, its very rare that you come out of it unscathed, now some of you, and I can almost guarantee the ones that will disagree, will say that what Im saying is nonsense, and thats fine, you are entitled to your opinion, but if you get on this post and say that the people that stay can leave but dont leave, and whatever happens is their fault, it’s the truth, because what you allow, will continue, but these people are already damaged, and don’t believe themselves worthy of real love…….please don’t be insensitive, because your comment will only be seen by me, and will be promptly deleted…..I repeated the same mistakes that my mother did, seeking out, unknowingly, people that I thought I could fix, thinking that my love was so great, that I could save them, but I couldnt, and only now, after going to meetings and reading and educating myself, and LEARNING how to set up boundaries, and NOT ACCEPTING less than what I deserve, do I see my past mistakes….you see people that dont get help for this, dont understand that leaving the addict, abuser, or drug, alcohol or person, yes I said PERSON, that you are addicted to will improve their life, they either think that they will not survive without their crutch, or that the person, no matter how abusive, or the drug no matter how much it destroys your life, that you or they will not be able to live without their addiction of choice….i was married for 17 years to a chronic cheater, who was so addicted to sex, that he made me have sex with him after my mothers funeral, and then left me to be by myself, when he went to his girlfriends house….people will say how did he MAKE you do that, manipulation, in the guise of him comforting me after my mothers death….then I was with another person who went back and forth to prison, I was there for him for 5 years , until he got off parole and turned into a raging crackhead, that relationship ended with him breaking into my housen jumping on top of me, and beating me, while my children tried to get him off of me, I put him in jail, and walked away from him, still loving him, and wondering what I had done wrong.

right-way-wrong-way1I followed this up with worst relationship of all, and stayed there for ten years, but this man was soo different, my husband was highly intelligent, but not like this man, I fell in love with his mind, and then found out shortly thereafter that he too was an addict and alcoholic, did I leave?????? NOOOO, because again, I craved love sooooo much, that again, I thought that my love was enough and that I could save an addict from the throes of HIS addiction, again, I butted my head against the wall, crying arguing, fighting, the problem was that he made me feel so good when he wasnt high, he was good to my kids, and eventually grandkids, I stayed with him through over 30 stays in REHAB, always believing the promises that he would change……everybody that knows me, even his friends wanted me to leave him, but I was sooooo addicted to him, that I couldnt….I put myself through so much that I had to learn how to forgive myself, eventually this relationship ended, and it was one of the hardest things that I ever went through….Now for all of you that say I was a fool, yes I was, for all of you that say I was stupid for staying, yes I was, but after I finally got out of the toxic relationship, I finally began to grow, mentally I am stronger now than i have EVER been in my life, I conquered depression, low self esteem, self loathing, and the loss of what I considered to be the love of my life, and I am STILL HERE…. I was hateful to myself, filled with rage all of the time, always wanted to argue, always had to be right, and have the last word, until I learned to love myself, and not to accept bad behavior… i finally LISTENED instead of TALKING, I learned how to RESPOND, instead of REACT, and I LEARNED how to walk away from anything that DOES NOT SERVE ME WELL……

People that are stuck in violent abusive realtionships, usually have experienced a lot of the things that I have….and feel that they dont deserve better, it doesnt make it right, but it is the truth….most people like me need anger management, but ive managed through prayer, educating myself, and listening instead of talking, that I NEVER WILL BE IN AN ABUSIVE, PHYSICALLY,OR MENTALLY, RELATIONSHIP EVER, EVER AGAIN…..FOR THE FAMILY OF NIKKI FARR, YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER READ THIS, BUT I AM SO AFFECTED BY YOUR LOSS, EVEN WITH HER EX, BEING HER EX, IT STILL DIDNT STOP HIM…….. THIS SITUATION BROUGHT ALL OF THIS TO THE SURFACE, THE ABUSE, MENTAL, PHYSICAL, THE CHEATING, ….PEOPLE IF THAT MAN HAS EVER SAID THAT HE WILL KILL YOU….BELIEVE IT….IF HE CHEATS, HE DOESNT VALUE YOU, IF HE LIES, HE DOESNT RESPECT YOU, IF HE HITS YOU, PUT HIS ASS IN JAIL….I WAS WHERE ANY WOMAN THAT HAS BEEN ABUSED, IS RIGHT NOW, TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE…..YOU COULD END UP LIKE NIKKI, OR YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE IN PAIN, LIKE I DID, PUSHING EVERYBODY AWAY, HURTING MYSELF, BY DISREPECTING MYSELF, ALL THIS AND IVE NEVER DONE DRUGS, DONT HARDLY EVER DRINK, AND DONT SMOKE……MY CRIME WAS LOVING SOMEONE ELSE,TOO MUCH, AND NOT LOVING MYSELF UNTIL NOW……RIP NIKKI….GONE TOO SOON….

 

(Not to take away from her story, today I walked 6.58 miles!!)

Cocky or Arrogance?

size0-army.mil-76884-2010-06-14-080629On Saturday, I did something that I wouldn’t rarely do, but my I needed to grab some medicine that was ready for me at the Pharmacy. I went to Wal-Mart. Going to Wal-Mart on Saturday isn’t bad, unless you live next to a military base with a whole division home at the same damn time.

Now that I have been out of the military for about a year and a half now, I’ve noticed a LOT of things that soldiers try to get away with in public. If you were in ever in the military or know someone in the military, you know that on Friday you get a Safety Briefing. From the time I joined and until the day I retired, that Safety Briefing had changed dramatically. The one thing that never changed was “don’t drink & drive”, don’t do drugs”, and “don’t beat your spouse.” The first one, drinking and driving, it doesn’t matter how many times you tell a soldier not to do it, there is ALWAYS someone getting caught doing it. The last 2, it doesn’t matter what you try to do to hide it, you WILL get caught. A pissed off Spouse will call the damn post General if that Spouse is mad enough and a Urinalysis in the Army (Not sure about our sisters/brothers in the Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard) nowadays is  second nature. Why? Because a soldier will try any drug to get a buzz and get over.

But that’s not the reason for this post. Today I want to talk about the arrogance of soldiers. I understand cockiness coming from a person that has just stared death in the face and made it home safely, but there needs to be a line when YOU as a person should know that you are no longer being cocky, your are being an arrogant asshole; what happened to opening doors for a lady or someone that has a hand full of bags and needs some assistance or how about helping your wife that is pushing a cart full of stuff that YOU want and she’s trying her best to keep everything in the cart with one hand and with the other hand hold the had of your child and you are behind her telling her she better not drop anything. When I saw this I had to say something. I asked her if she needed help and she said no and that her husband is right behind her, when he made it to the entrance to the door he “Tried” to stare me down and ask me why I was talking to his wife, that’s when I had flip the switch. I said first of all, is that how you talk to a Non-commissioned Officer? He then stated oh, no excuse me SGT. I asked him what his rank was then asked to see ID Card. He was a F****** PV2. I asked why the F*** aren’t you helping your wife with that cart? He said, SGT she said she had it. I said, I don’t give a F*** if she said she had it, the least you could have done was take the had of your child, he then stated, that it wasn’t his child, it was his “step-child”. I said I don’t care. It’s too much traffic going in and out of Wal-Mart and the parking lot for you not to be doing what you are supposed to do as a husband. After that, he sprinted to the cart and took control of it.

DSC00567Not once did I tell him that I was a retired SSG, it was my NCO aura that he felt. I am clean shaven now so I still look like a soldier. Well, in the face, now the rest of the body, I’m working on. It shouldn’t take an outside party to tell you how to treat your wife, someone you promised to cherish for the rest of your life. It’s crazy and I see it all the time. Soldiers try walking from their car without their head gear, but if I’m around NOPE, not happening. It’s called PRIDE. I understand that you may have just come from a deployment, but that doesn’t give you the right to disgrace the uniform or forget what you were taught in order to keep the reputation of the military to a high standard. It irritates me and my wife gets upset with me that I make those corrections, because she thinks that because I am retired that I should stop worrying about it. I told her that an NCO will take care of a soldier no matter his status, a SGT will let things like that slide.

Another thing is talking on the phone while driving or texting while driving. I HATE this with a passion. It’s called bluetooth. You have 50 inch rims on your car, 100 inch speakers in your trunk, but you can’t afford to get some type of bluetooth installed? Your priorities are in the wrong order. Or here’s another idea, how about speaker phone? Turn down your music, close the windows, turn down the AC/Heat, put the phone on your ash tray, near your speedometer or somewhere that the person can hear you and you can hear them. If I’m driving and I see someone texting, I honk the horn until they stop or they speed off made as hell. I don’t care, I just saved your life or someone else’s. I don’t know if it’s true or not, I really haven’t thought about it, but I feel like I’m making more on the spot corrections  than I was in the military.

If you are a soldier reading this and you are guilty of ANY of the above offenses, this is your warning. If I see you doing it, I will check that ass. You know the standard. NCO’s if I see you not doing what you are supposed to be doing, you can get it too. I don’t care what your rank is. A Standard is a Standard.

One more thing and I promise to be quiet. LOUD MUSIC! I love loud music, but do you have to be in the Wal-Mart parking lot and I hear you down by Checkers? That’s ridiculous. That’s why the civilian population think we walk around like everyone should lay at our feet. The military is downsizing, which I DON’T agree with, but with the down-size, NCO’s will be able to be NCO’s and soldier’s will finally be scared of NCO’s and do what’s right even when no one is looking.

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On another note, today is day 2 of the Diet. Going well, I think. Oatmeal for breakfast, a  20oz Coffee for lunch, 4 Eggs for dinner and  24oz’s of water, I’m going to drink another 24 because I ate that cookie. I walked 5.29 miles today. My walking partner, Cody, was good the first 2 miles then he wanted to go home, he made it 4.66 miles, I dropped him off and finished the rest alone. Tomorrow’s Goal 6 miles. I know that this weeks goal was 15 miles and 5 salads, but I’m getting hooked. I LOVE IT! (My brother Tommy J, has the same passion for running, his passion with Emory Hughes drive makes me want to get fit.) I have awesome family.

Time for Change

So today, I’ve decided that I wanted to make some changes in my life. First starting off with myself. The first change is stop talking about how I’m tired of being fat and out of shape and start to do something about it.1798419_665349933511058_1795479111_n

I don’t need some magic pill or a DAMN SHAKE to help me lose this weight that I gained. No one forced me to gain this weight, it was a choice. Now I am choosing to get rid of it. I’m pretty proud of myself, I did some walking. I tried to run, but since my “Little” big toe doesn’t work like it should, I couldn’t do it. So I walked my a** off. I only had intentions of walking maybe a mile. Once I reached a mile, I told myself that hey, I just want to walk to this next road then I would turn around. Well after walking 5.23 miles in an hour and 17 minutes. I know those of you are looking and laughing at that, well, let me let you in on a little secret. I was injured in April 25, 2010 from my vehicle being struck by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED). I’m not using that as an excuse, but what you need to realize that I have multiple injuries and have had multiple surgeries.

Today, I just got tired of sitting around and not being healthy. Maybe once I get healthy a lot of the injuries will fix themselves. I REALLY hate negativity so if you have nothing positive to say, please, PLEASEEEEE, don’t say anything at all. Each week I will set a goal for myself. This week I’m starting small, 15 miles and 5 salads. The 5.23 miles does count. I have a very good friend participating in this also, but I will keep the name to myself. The only time I will reveal weight is at the end of each 30 day period. I plan on doing this for 6 months to see what I can do. We will see.

Each Sunday will be focused on what I did each day of the week or how I accomplished the goal set. So we will see how I accomplish the 9.27 miles and 5 salads left. If you also want to get healthy you are welcome to join in and post your results in the comments section. If you add to your workout, that’s cool, but the goal is to accomplish the set goal. I will get this done. What motivated me to do this? Me being the weight I am now, I don’t feel like myself. I mean, I feel like myself, but I have NEVER weighed this much. I want to blame it on the medicines and immobility, but I will put all the blame on me. I have a good buddy who is in an awesome unit, we deployed to Afghanistan 2007-2008, his drive was ridiculous. He and the platoon he was attached to would go out on missions all day, come back, while 75% would relax, he and the other 25% would hit the gym. That’s the drive I going to put towards this and keep it that way. I won’t mention his name, but he knows who he is. Matter fact, I need for him to meet me at the Map Board? (Inside Joke only me and him know).

Next Sunday at 1900 (7pm), I will let you know if the goal was accomplished or not. No excuses. If you want to join in, you are welcome. We don’t need shakes or pills to do this. It’s called DISCIPLINE! Do you have it?