Words of Wisdom, By Sheezy, Part V

As Promised, here you go. If this is your first time reading my Blog and this happens to be your first experience of “Sheezy”, then I suggest if you are easily offended and don’t like to hear “the real” then, don’t read this Post. I have 119 more you can read. In short, this dude is one of my friends from my hometown; the greatest city in the United States, Enterprise, located in the best state in the world ALA-MUTHA-F****N-BAMA. If this is your first experience and you continue to read this Post, keep this in mind, IT’S ALL IN FUN. IT’S JUST JOKES!

  • She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her… “I know I better get a lap dance. Heffa, them green beans ain’t Greater Value them hoes are Del Monte!”
  • When one door closes another one opens. Or you could jut re-open the closed door. Because that’s how the fuck doors work….
  • This lady is so ugly, looks like she eats fried cabbage with tortilla chips…I got it. I got it. She’s “extra-ugly”. Take it easy on me, Jesus… #NANARUTH
  • Taking Viagra for my sun-burn. Doesn’t cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night…
  • Niggas be talking about “Money Over Bitches”… But be asking bitches for money… What kind of shit is that…
  • Man, just think how crazy Gallup (That little “My Precious” character) goes on the 5th day of Christmas…(You’re singing the Christmas carol now huh…). It’s 5 golden rings, shit water casserole…
  • More than friends? What, you misguided lil shit tablet? You MUST wanna be BEST FRIENDS… SHIIIIID…
  • I think New York has reached the point where it can finally just be called York. I mean, hell, the Statue of Liberty was built in September of 1872… And all this time, I’m sitting here thinking the 1940’s was old as a mf…
  • At my funeral, play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music… You know… “Dunna dunna dunna…” Yeah. That level…
  • A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon…I’ll arrange your funeral services because I’m certain that you were blown away.
  • Imagine if Drake and Taylor Swift were in a relationship and then broke up…Jesus. We’d ALL drown in sorrow and sadness…

 

*HONORABLE MENTION:

If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?

The existence of the Flamethrower proves that someone once said “I want to set those people over there on fire but I’m just not close enough.”

 

**BONUS:

Words of Wisdom By Sheezy Part V

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s