As much as I love this time of year, I hate it in the same regard. My reasoning for hating this time of year, is because the worst things to happen in your life all of a sudden decide they want to show up. For example, The Department of Veterans Affairs wants me to generate 1200 appointments and keep those 12oo appointments, but they don’t want to “front” me the money so I can get to these appointments. In addition to this, I am having to use money that is set aside for my girls Christmas presents to get to where I need to be. I’m sure those that have children know the feeling I feel right now. There is nothing in this world that can take away the feeling of hurt, because you can’t give your child a holiday they deserve.
I had to deal with similar situations growing up and told myself that when I was blessed to have my own children they would not have to go through the same issues I did. Now it feels as if the cycle is starting all over again. I don’t mean to discourage anyone about the holidays, I am just sharing my thoughts on this time of year. I know that if I continue to keep faith in the good Lord that he will see me through this time, but it seems that my faith is tested and the devil is working overtime to make me feel as if the Lord has forgotten about me.
I don’t mean to make this post seem religious, but it’s just the way I feel at this moment. For those that take the time out of their busy lives to follow my Blog please don’t take it that I am trying to push religion on them. The point I am trying to get across to you is that this time of year is somewhat of a struggle for me and my family and the harder I work to do the right thing, I get hit with circumstances to bring me down. I know that there are other people in this world are going through the same circumstances I am, I just want them to know that troubles such as these don’t last forever. There is a light at the end of tunnel. It takes a lot for me to put myself out there, because I feel that this is embarrassing.
As I said in a previous, I can’t remember the exact one, but I said that I would be putting myself out there for the world to see even it exposes a weakness or embarrasses me. I have nothing to hide. What I want everyone to know that if you feel that you are the only one dealing with this all alone, you’re not. There are those that are afraid to say it, so I feel the need to say it not only for myself, but for those that are too afraid or just don’t know how to say it. Things will get better, just keep the faith. I’ve taken this from a page of people that I highly respect.
No matter how I down and out I feel or depressed I feel, I am comfortable enough to put myself out there. Sneakerbox Chock and Bueller Da Don are the individuals that keep me pushing. They are up and coming Rap artists and with every song they put out, they always say what’s on their mind and what they have been through. They helped me find something that I am passionate about and to keep pushing and that’s what I will do. I would also give credit to a fellow Blogger, Shelbi Rose that keeps me going. There are many others that I could mention, but I would know that I would forget someone, so I want to say thank you to everyone that has given me the strength to put myself out there. Meike and Tommy are included in that group also.
I hope that everyone has a great holiday and to keep in mind that troubles don’t last forever. Keep pushing! There is nothing in this world that can make you feel that giving up is the only option. Times like these are when you need to keep your eyes on the prize, no matter what higher power you put trust in. I assure you things will get better.