58 [Words of Wisdom From Sheezy]

Today’s post will be A LOT different than my previous posts. Today I want to focus on something that I think is hilarious. I have a friend that I have had since the 4th Grade. I have a feeling that if he ever decided to go into comedy, he would succeed. Some of you may not think it’s not funny at all, but you can’t please everybody. The official name for today’s post is: Words of Wisdom from Sheezy! I’m going to post a lot of things that he posts on his Facebook page that many of you can’t see. As I said before, many of you will not find some of it funny, but MY Blog wasn’t created to make everybody happy.


  • Just told my boy that if he stirred hair grease into his coffee, it’d taste better and it’d be stronger… I actually think he thought I was serious… If he ends up in the hospital behind this, his nickname for the of eternity would be… “Stupid MF”… HAIR GREASE?!
  • When a girl replies with “aww thanks”, it means she is politely telling you to return to the friend zone you just tried escaping from…
  • Don’t be inebriated and watch one of those “starving kids” commercials… I’m so lucky I couldn’t find my damn wallet…
  • I’m going to invent a new pre sex mint flavored birth control pill… And I’ll name it “Predickamints”… (Yeah, you just witnessed that. Write that shit down somewhere…)
  • This lady’s breath smelled like a platter of hickory smoked mud rat toe nails… My bottom lip was trembling for 73% of the conversation… I wanted… No. Needed to url… Nobody deserves to go thru that yuckmouthed endeavor…
  • Wish I had 2 more hands… So I could give septum piercings 4 thumbs down… HA HA HA! IT’S A CELEBRATION, BYACH!
  • It’s been 4 years to the day that I threw that boomerang. I still find myself looking over my shoulder and living in fear…
  • This lieutenant was talking to me @ the barber shop… He’s like the real life version of Stifler… Had me actually laughing like a mf instead of the awkward “get the f#ck away from me” laugh…
  • Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age. (You actually did it, huh, doofus…)
  • Women don’t really want to hear what you think. They want to hear what they think… In a deeper voice.
  • Need an ark? I Noah guy.
  • **Dominique’s Jokes** Why was the policeman in bed? Me:  ….. Idk. Why. BECAUSE HE WAS AN UNDERCOVER COPPPPP! (followed by hysterical laughter) Me:….. *deep sigh* Then seeing her so tickled made me laugh… LOL…Somebody come get this girl…
  • I wish there was a rollover plan for all the childhood naps I refused… I’m tired as a mf…
  • Just because they fit doesn’t mean you’re supposed to wear them…

There are many more, but I don’t want to post every single one. The ones mentioned above are my favorite ones. BEFORE ANYONE WRITES A NEGATIVE COMMENT ABOUT THIS POST, REFER TO THE FIRST PARAGRAPH, SOME OF YOU MAY NOT FIND THIS FUNNY, BUT I MYSELF AND OUR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS FIND THEM HILARIOUS. He’s not a professional comedian, nor is he is trying to be one. He is the type of person that if you’re having a shitty day, you can always go to his page to get a laugh. I wanted to share this with my friends, that are not friends with him and can’t see his page. I don’t need any critics for this post, it’s all in fun people. Please take it as that.



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